1 Ship, 2 ships, 3relationship – Open relationship

My 3some confession:

In my early 20 something I thought life was going well for me, my body was taking form, my college year was almost done and as an openly gay man, I thought I had it all. I would frequent the bars and clubs on a weekly basis looking for relationship where it would often end up with just random hook ups.

I would regularly have one night stands without any commitments for a relationship, until one day they came along. This couple in their early 30’s spoke to me in a club and later brought me back to their place for drinks and of course sex. I stayed till the next day and realized that I was sleeping in between them with their arms wrapped mine. When I woke up one of the guy rolled over to hug me and gently kissed me on my cheek which we end up having sex again.

We got up to shower together, ate breakfast together and went for coffee together. I ended up hanging out with them the whole Sunday and stayed over for dinner. As I left the house, I felt warm, “love” and excitement filled with anticipation of meeting them again.  For five months I was with them every weekend as if they were my part time boyfriends and then something happened.  I wasn’t being included anymore with their plans or being asked to visit them at their place.

The communication went quiet and I felt as the world had stopped. I wanted answers but being young then I blamed myself for not being good enough. It took me a long time to understand the complexity of an open relationship. What two people in the relationship discussed about and what was negotiated and sometime it doesn’t include you in the conversation can be frustrating and upsetting.

I have learnt now that it is much more complicated for any couple who are in a long term relationship where sex seems to slowly diminish. I too understand the situation of that couple I met in the earlier part of my life because I am also in that situation now.

In my long term relationship, I’ve been wondering what makes my relationship last this long and what makes me want to go further?  There are many things to learn on how to maintain or keep a long term relationship but it was not taught to me so I would have to learn it as it happened.  I can tell you now that  7 years there are questions that was easily can be answered alone and some still need both of us to answers together.

There are so many questions that a couple or individuals would ask when they’re in a long term relationship. Relationship is not always about sex, but the journey both take together and that could include sex. We will constantly challenge each other but if your relationship is worth keeping then the journey will be fun and fulfilling.

We often see many couples who are happy with their relationships and lasting for a very long time. How do they maintain this type of relationship especially when most of the guys you know can’t even hold down a relationship? What is the secret if there is any for us to learn and explore. Relationship is one of the hardest things in life because you are sharing your life with by compromising your freedom to be with that person. How communication plays out between the two people to navigate around HIV/STIs is also a very important matter.

This workshop is for people who are interested in discussing and exploring what a healthy relationship looks like through different exercises by practicing communication skills whether it is a monogamous or polygamous relationship.

When: Saturday Sept 20
Where: AFA office 9 Kelantan Lane #05-01 S208628

Time: 6pm-9pm Light refreshment will be provided

Please register as soon as you can due to limited space. Thanks.