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Through your generous contributions, we will be able to
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provide services and care for persons living with HIV/AIDS
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as well as emotional and financial support to their family members.
Defeating HIV will require a comprehensive response, and effective programs must be scaled up to treat people already infected and prevent new infections. Capacity has to be built; network and collaboration need to be forged. We need more support and donations in order to work towards the local and global vision of zero new HIV infections, zero discrimination and zero AIDS-related deaths.
Only with your generous support, are we able to continue our aim of achieving the three zeros.
Thank you for helping us, so that we can do more and do better. We are honoured to put your generosity into affirmative action.
Single and Loving It!
When we were young, we had many dreams; some aspired to grow up to become that idolized proud gay man we knew as a child or be that high-flier complete with a big house and fancy cars to boot. But the ultimate dream is to have that special someone to share a life with…our very own happy ever after.
As age and wisdom gets the better of us, we soon come to realise that dreams rarely pan out the way we planned them. Difficult choices had to be made at times and dreams get dropped along the way as reality bites. Yet despite so many milestones achieved, one box remains elusive and at times, challenging.
Where is that life partner we are promised, where is the man of my dreams?
As we look around us and see many other gay men in a happy relationship with their partners (or in some cases, partners) the question of companionship or the lack of it will starts rearing its ugly head…
“Why are they so lucky, where do I start searching?”
What is it about being a relationship that makes many gay men yearns for it? Why are we so afraid to be alone? Undeniably there are benefits of being single and you really are never alone even when you think you are. Nonetheless here is a good read for the singles out there who thinks that they need to be in a relationship to be happy.
Yes, having a life partner could be the greatest thing to ever happen to anyone but for some that could also mean constantly questioning the validity of their relationship. Some might start to explore options like watching PORNSTAR MOVIES and various other ways to spice up a ‘stale’ relationship. The constant demands to keep the relationship going may remind some of us the many benefits of being single and the list includes:
- Spend more time at the gym to look good to attract potential lovers.
- Have your own money to spend on whatever you desired.
- Have more time to achieve your career and education.
- Doing less housework because you are the only person in your place, or only have one place to manage.
- The freedom to date whomever you want and go on as many dates as possible.
- Have better sleep and with more space on the bed to sleep how you want.
- Single people are generally more social than married people.
- Single people have less stress during vacations versus travelling when married.
- Single have the option to have more alone time if they are tired versus being married.
There are many good points that most people can agree with (while some don’t) yet it is an undeniable fact that a relationship is not always a ‘happily ever after’ and may on the contrary be a ‘work in progress’. Relationship comes in many different types and it depends on you to define it and it is constant hard work to maintain one. A good friend once shared “relationship is like a job; you must start at the entry level and work your way to a career…” a fact we wholeheartedly agreed with.
A relationship is also not a stage in life for you to explore your belief systems and values or your ‘self-ness’ of what makes you essentially you. So don’t dive into one the next time you meet someone on Grindr or at a sauna just because you see others in a relationship. It is not a fashion statement you’re making or a trend to follow. Use this period of singlehood to learn more about yourself and enjoy life and the benefits it brings along. If some special were to come along, he is yours to keep. Most importantly as a single healthy gay man who is enjoying the buffet table of available partners, a regular testing regime is a must. Test every 6 months for any sexually transmitted infections especially Syphilis. And always use a condom.
Top 10 Qualities of Successful Gay Couples
In the world full of homophobia and discrimination, growing up gay can be the hardest thing to conquer for some of us. The combination of punitive laws, the lack of better understanding due to ignorance and a spiral of silence, gay men have been systematically excluded from accessing services and enjoying the same equal rights that majority of the citizens are entitled too. In a society that has little tolerance of our love, it becomes difficult to maintain a long healthy relationship.
The lack of positive role models of gay couples in the public sphere that provides hope and life lessons for successful, lasting relationships, where gay men can mirror or reflect on. As men, the society and media expects us to be masculine and be responsible for our family too. We are also conditioned to not exhibit any weakness or emotions, thus the vicious cycle of expectation and conditioning further affects many gay men’s self esteem too.
Yet, through all of these, many couples have created their own blue-print for a healthy long term relationship, sure any relationships comes with its own fights and bickering, but they have found ways to cope, stay together, support each other and grow their lives together.
Here is GayHealth.sg’s top 10 characteristics for a successful relationship. It doesn’t mean it is suitable for everyone, but this is a good starting point. Build on your own list and share with us in the comments.
1. They shared similar interests and outlooks.
Similar does not equate to being the same. We’ve found that successful couples share relatively similar (yet different) interests e.g. love to travel, but doing different things while traveling is an example. It doesn’t mean every interests have to be the same or else it’s boring. Bring your own interests into the relationship.
2. They communicate openly.
Not just about the day to day subjects but also openly about sex, including the different kinds of sex, sex outside of the relationship and what each expect form the relationship.
3. They have a supportive network of family and friends who honour their relationship.
Continue to keep your friends and family close even in a relationship. Too many people fail to acknowledge the importance of their support network and stops all contact with their friends. Friends are also a great sounding board, that provides a different views when you a conflict arise with you and your partner.
4. They have a balanced lifestyle that comprises of both individual and couple identities.
Me time. You don’t have to do everything together. Keep some of your lifestyle with your friends and family also.
5. They have fun with life and try not to take things so seriously.
Do laugh at each often and always remember don’t take things seriously.
6. They enjoy a sensual and sexual camaraderie that helps them to meet their erotic potential.
Just because you are together it doesn’t mean your sex life should die. Help each other fulfill the fantasies by communicating openly and trying various positions and sex toys like dolls (for more info, click here).
7. They know how to manage conflicts.
Don’t fight over little things!!!! Listen and offer support when needed AND always take your partner’s side when he needs you.
8. They are comfortable with their sexuality and not afraid to show it.
Once you come out as openly gay, the rest will follow. Some people who came out said that they don’t need to worry about it and focus on other things in life. This is all depend on you and when you/partner is ready.
9. Have positive outlook and energy.
I don’t need to say more about this.
10. Don’t take each other for granted.
Nothing last forever even your long term partner. Keep in mind that we have our own personal live and that we also share with someone. Don’t take anyone for granted!
If you are unsure about your relationship, then you need to talk to your partner and see where you two can work out the minor/major issues. Remember, you need to find people who connect with you and want to be with you. It’s a long journey so enjoy every minute of it.
Once again, this list isn’t exhaustive and may not be suitable for everyone, but this is a good starting point. Share with us what worked and what didn’t in the comments below. Remember to share too!!!
The Normal Heart
AFA (Action for AIDS, Singapore) presents a special, free, by invitation only screening of ‘The Normal Heart’ courtesy of HBO. The event is taking place on 10 Sep 2014 at Golden Village, Great World City.
Your respective programme managers/coordinators should be getting in touch with you very soon!
Academy Award® nominee Mark Ruffalo, Matt Bomer, Taylor Kitsch, Emmy® winner Jim Parsons and Academy Award® winner Julia Roberts star in THE NORMAL HEART. Directed by Emmy® winner Ryan Murphy and written by Academy Award® nominee Larry Kramer, adapting his groundbreaking Tony Award-winning play of the same name, the drama tells the story of the onset of the HIV-AIDS crisis in New York City in the early 1980s, taking an unflinching look at the nation’s sexual politics as gay activists and their allies in the medical community fight to expose the truth about the burgeoning epidemic to a city and nation in denial.
Ruffalo portrays Ned Weeks, who witnesses first-hand a mysterious disease that has begun to claim the lives of many in his gay community and starts to seek answers. Matt Bomer plays Felix Turner, a reporter who becomes Ned’s lover. Taylor Kitsch plays Bruce Niles, a closeted investment banker who becomes a prominent AIDS activist. Jim Parsons plays gay activist Tommy Boatwright, reprising his role from the 2011 Broadway revival. Roberts plays physician Dr. Emma Brookner, a survivor of childhood polio who treats several of the earliest victims of HIV-AIDS.