Qrientation 2015: Welcome Event for LGBTQIA+ First-Year Students

/0 Comments/in , , , /by

Are you matriculating at NUS or NTU and identify as LGBTQIA+ or as an ally? Join us on 15 Aug (Sat) at Qrientation, the only queer-inclusive orientation event for incoming university students!

Hear from your seniors about campus life and culture, find out about LGBTQIA+ support resources both on- and off-campus, expand your social network and make some new friends at the event.

Organised by The G Spot (Yale-NUS College), Gender Collective (University Scholars Program, NUS), tFreedom (Tembusu College, NUS) and NTU Kaleidoscope (an unofficial group from NTU) as part of Inter-University LGBT Network, Singapore, this event is open to all LGBTQIA+ first-years and allies matriculating at National University of Singapore (NUS), Yale-NUS College and Nanyang Technological University (NTU) in AY2015/2016.

Details

Qrientation@NUS

  • Date: 15th August 2015 (Saturday)
  • Time: 10am to 1pm

Qrientation@NTU

  • Date: 15th August 2015 (Saturday)
  • Time: 2pm to 6pm
Register Now !

The event venue will be released only to registered participants upon confirmation. This is to protect the privacy and safety of all participants.

For more information, please contact us at reach@the-gspot.org for Qrientation@NUS and ntukaleidoscope@gmail.com for Qrientation@NTU.

[SMU Out To Care will release information regarding their group’s orientation event at a later date. Matriculating SMU students, do look out for that!]

Avin’s Speech at Pink Dot 2015

/0 Comments/in , , , /by

Avin Tan, Singapore’s second person living with HIV to come out publicly, shares the community stage with his mum at Pink Dot 2015.

He shares about his fears of coming out, how his mum supported him and what he hopes the community can do to make Singapore a better place for all.

Good evening everyone !! How are you doing?
Thank you very much for attending Pink Dot 2015 !!

I’m Avin, I am a person living with HIV and I’d also like to introduce my mum, who has been a solid rock in my life, and someone I look up too all my life. She’s the gungho one.

HIV has been with us for 30 years.
Yet many are still unclear about what it is, and how it affect our lives.

I’ve been working with AfA for many years now, and after many failed attempts to get someone to come out and to accept interviews or share their experience at conferences, I came to the conclusion, that if I cannot convince myself to do so, how can I ask others to do it.

And so, I made the decision to come out publicly in 2012.

My biggest fear when I was preparing to come out, was that I will lose all my friends, lose my fair chance at work, and lose the love from my family.

The dread and anxiety was crippling.

And I’m sure this same fear continue to plague many others who are coming out,  not necessarily as a person living with HIV, but for many, as a LGBTI person.

Yet I’ve been welcomed, supported and loved.

When I first told my mum, her first question wasn’t how or why I got it, but if I can afford the medication. My health mattered more than anything else.

When she said that, a huge weight was lifted.

My mum have showed me her unconditional love and support, and for that I would like to thank her. Thank you Mummy, I love you. With my mom’s blessing,

I no longer need to hide behind a facade. This is incredibly liberating. I am now able to speak openly about it, and share my experience, with others and helping them cope with the disease.

This is what support from one person can do. Now, imagine the kind of things, 20,000 people can achieve. It is because of this support from friends and family, that I can stand here, and speak, and be counted as one.

We’ve lost too many people to HIV and AIDS, such as Mr. Paddy Chew,  and countless nameless individuals who might be too afraid to come out. We’ve remained quiet for too long now. We need to show persons living with HIV and AIDS that we care about them. That we care about HIV and AIDS, and we care about making a difference.

So can I hear some noise Pink Dot 2015??

All twenty thousand of you, make some noise.

This is Pink Dot, this is 2015, and this is where love lives.

So let make Singapore a better place for all.
Here’s a huge thank you to everyone of you, all the volunteers, kind sponsors and the organising committee.

I hope you’ll continue to stand by us.
Thank you, my mum and have a great evening !

Avin Tan

Avin Tan

Coordinated Care Case Manager

Avin is a person living with HIV (PLHIV), and has been working with AFA to raise the awareness of HIV/AIDS in Singapore. Following Mr. Paddy Chew, he is the second Singaporean living with HIV who has come out publicly.

Pink Dot 2015 Pledge Badge

/0 Comments/in , , , , , /by

LGBT youth at higher risk of suicide, more support needed

/0 Comments/in , , , , /by

I refer to this week’s Talking Point, “When kids think of suicide”. Studies across the world have proven that one group with a higher risk of suicidal behaviour is LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) youth.

Research in the United States shows that these youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide as their heterosexual peers; nearly half of young transgender people have thought seriously about suicide, and one-quarter report having attempted it.

In Singapore, homophobia and transphobia may be prevalent. In a survey by Oogachaga Counselling and Support, a non-profit agency catering for the LGBT and queer community, 60.2 per cent of respondents indicated having experienced abuse and discrimination on the basis of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

The survey also found that such abuse and discrimination led to a significantly higher incidence rate of having suicidal thoughts or attempts. This is alarming.

Thankfully, the Health Promotion Board has published a FAQ on sexuality on its website that validates the humanity of LGBT persons.

However, it removed links to LGBT-affirmative counselling hotlines, which makes access to support for LGBT persons more difficult.

School leaders should pay attention to fostering safe, healthy school environments.

For example, micro-aggressions, which are everyday encounters of subtle discrimination marginalised groups face, towards LGBT persons can cause depression, psychological distress and even cardiovascular issues.

Using words such as “faggot”, “sissy” or “ah gua” as insults or jokes is an example of micro-aggression towards LGBT persons, even if the words are not directed at them.

In a study published in the Journal of LGBT Issues in Counselling, LGBT and queer participants said they felt depressed, anxious and even traumatised when they experienced micro-aggressions.

We have much to do to make Singapore a safe place for all children.

First Published on Today
By BRYAN KWA JIE WEN
PUBLISHED: 4:16 AM, APRIL 29, 2015

If you need assistance or know someone who is in distressed and need help, please call our hotline at 6254 0212
or visit our supportive network page.

 

Songkran 2015

/0 Comments/in , , , , , /by

Songkran starts this weekend and many of us will be travelling up to Bangkok for this wonderful and fun festival. Here are some tips we gathered from seasoned travellers. If you have any tips, add them to the comment section !

#1 Sunscreen

It’s going to be HOT. Make sure you apply sunscreen on all the exposed area to prevent from getting burned especially if you are going to a pool party. Carry it with you and re-apply as often as required. Sunscreens are very common and can be found in many pharmacies located on every corner of Bangkok. Remember: you only want to get wet, not sun-burned.

#2: To wear or not to wear

Flip flops are highly recommended, but make sure they are not slippery on wet grounds. Make sure to pack an extra pair of shoes if you plan to head to club. However, bring shoes you do not mind getting soiled. You will definitely get wet the moment you step out of your hotel. So be mentally prepared. It may be easier to go topless or wear a singlet. If you do, be proud of your own body, and have fun.

#3: Personal Safety

Song Kran is all about having fun and meeting new people. You wouldn’t want to worry about losing your items. Most clubs, circuit parties and pool parties will have a coat check where you can leave your bags. Use a back pack when in crowded places, and carry it in front where you can see it at all times.

Carrying light, only bring the important items, such as wallets, handphone, condoms, lube and a light change of clothes. Seal them in good quality ziplock bags to keep them water proof.

Need to pick up free condoms and lube sachets? Drop by our office.

#4: Eating

Make sure you have a light meal before going to the party, do not go with an empty stomach if you intend to have alcohol. If you are going to have sex, take note what food give you the runs, so you are in your top form.

#5: Accidents and emergencies

Here is a list of hotlines in case of an accident or emergency.

Local hospitals –

24 hr helpline for illicit drugs related issues and emergencies – 
Telephone: +66(0) 828112686
http://www.na-thailand.org/

If your condom broke or was exposed to HIV –
Go to any emergency centre and ask for P.E.P (What is P.E.P?) or visit the Thai Red cross on Ratchadamri Road.

The Thai Red Cross AIDS Research Centre
104 Ratchadamri Road, Pathumwan,
Bangkok 10330
Tel: +66 2 256 4107 – 09
Fax: +66 2 254 7577
E-mail: aids@trcarc.org
http://www.trcarc.org

 

DragonStack Takes Over Operations of Fridae

/0 Comments/in , , , /by

Singapore – Fridae’s original shareholders have decided that Fridae is best placed in being run by the LGBT Community that it is set up to serve. With that in mind, telecommunications and travel company DragonStack have taken over the operation of Fridae. The group of LGBT professionals with a strong technology and communications portfolio are perfectly placed to develop Fridae as the website for LGBT networking in Asia and beyond.

Fridae has always strived to be a voice for the LGBT Community in Asia and a fruitful platform for news, events and information and we now believe we are better placed than ever to do this.

To celebrate this new and exciting era for Fridae we will be offering a specially discounted perks membership – just in case you haven’t met your beau yet during the romantic months of spring. Watch out in your email in the next couple of days.

Fridae has always strived to be a voice for the LGBT Community in Asia and a fruitful platform for news, events and information. Over the last couple of years we have attempted to adapt new technologies for Fridae to continue to work for you on new platforms and devices.

With this in mind you have got these updates to look forward to in the coming months:

  • An Android App
  • A new iOS App
  • An improved and updated Fridae website
  • An LGBT travel site with local ambassadors
  • A specialist LGBT hotel booking and Gay AIRBNB portal

We will of course continue to support Asia’s LGBT Community with a Community News and information service as well as continuing and improving our dating and networking. As ever, we welcome feedback from our members as to how we can improve and members can support Fridae’s growth by:

  • Contacting us with your comments and suggestions
  • Considering becoming a local representative/ambassador
  • Taking out a Perks membership
  • When booking hotels – use the Agoda link on the site
  • Advertising your business or event on the site

Getting Hard, Getting Off

/0 Comments/in , , /by

10943776_10152766273403737_3035513682697172047_n

Guys don’t always get hard or stay hard. Guys don’t always get off. But pleasure can be more than a hard dick or a cumshot!

Trouble getting or keeping an erection can be caused by a whole range of factors: physical, mental, and more.

Sometimes guys have erectile difficulties when they use a condom, which can prevent them from using it, or cause them anxiety when they use one.

For older guys, they might think erectile difficulties are just an inevitable part of aging, but it doesn’t have to be. Erectile difficulties can affect men of all ages and aren’t necessarily related to age.

However, a few tactics may help to understand how severe the issue is. For example, a person suffering from erectile difficulties can try getting aroused by watching porn or using a real life sex doll (which can be available in various genders including male, female, shemale, etc.). It can help them to properly analyze the problem and convey it to a medical professional.

In addition, here are some tips to get hard and stay hard:

  • Try foreplay, dirty talk and porn.
  • Take your time and don’t hurry.
  • Try different positions to see what gets you off and avoids discomfort.
  • Use a lubricant. Silicone-based lubricants don’t dry up as quickly as water-based lubricants, which can help reduce anxiety about taking too long to get off. Experiment with different kinds on your own, to see what types of lube you prefer. Oil-based lubes make condoms break.
  • Use a cock ring. They come in a variety of materials and you can find them in an online sex shop. Choose ones that don’t fit too tight when you are hard, and are easy to remove. Many guys use them. They will enhance your orgasm, as well as your erection.
  • Try sex in the morning, or at another time when you might be more relaxed or horny.
  • Too much alcohol or drugs before sex can make it difficult to get hard and stay hard…
  • Look into the side effects of medications you’re taking, but don’t stop taking medications without consulting your health care provider.
  • Believe it or not – getting hard after eating a heavy meal is not easy for many guys.

Talk to your doctor if none of these strategies work. Erectile difficulties could be a symptom of a bigger health issue, or a medical issue on their own. Erectile drugs, including orals and injectables, are an option, but aren’t a magic bullet for everyone. On the other hand, many guys are able to use a condom with erectile drugs that otherwise wouldn’t and they report that they appreciate the freedom and anxiety from having to worry about staying hard. Know the side effects of gastrointestinal-medications.online and what you shouldn’t mix them with.

You don’t need to get hard to get or give sexual pleasure. Try other kinds of sex play that don’t require you penetrating your partner with a cock, like:

  • Oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc.
  • Dildos, strap-ons, and cock sheaths.
  • Fisting
  • Sensual massage
  • Try bottoming. (If you’re trying to be a bottom for the first time, read the section on Guys on Top.)

For more support and ideas, talk to other guys, check out resources and workshops on sexual pleasure, as well as trusted sex shops.

Source: Thesexyouwant

Action for AIDS – MSM Programme

Address: 9 Kelantan Lane #03-01
Singapore 208628Tel : (65) 6254 0212Fax :(65) 6256 5903
Email : daniel.le@afa.org.sg , avin.tan@afa.org.sg, alex.tan@afa.org.sg

Gay and MSM Community Sexual Health Survey Singapore 2014 (Update)

/0 Comments/in , , , /by

 

web banners

The findings are now available here.

– http://afa.org.sg/whatwedo/advocate/sac/9th-sac-archive/#symposium-2

 

Organised By

Supported By:

HIV infection is spreading rapidly in our community. In 2013 56% of the newly detected HIV infections were among gay and other men who have sex with men (MSM). We estimate that over 5% of all MSM in Singapore are HIV infected. The situation is especially urgent because HIV is infecting more young men, many of whom have not yet started their careers.

Effective information and prevention programmes are needed to slow down the spread of HIV. We are therefore seeking to improve our understanding of sexual health behaviour and attitudes.

 

Same Same but…. Different

/0 Comments/in , , , , /by

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

He introduced himself through Grindr as Gabriel/28 yrs/5’9/flex and he wasn’t looking for a one night stand. I always assumed that the worst of the guys I would meet will be on gay hook-up apps, unless they proved to me otherwise. Somehow Gabriel seem different, playful but with a straight forward truth when he spoke to me. I had developed a liking for him through every coffee, lunch, movie and dinner date. I found him to be extremely sexy and charismatic, especially the way he would hold my lower back to usher me through the doorway. He was the kind of gentleman I had not seen for a long time, and they say, “Chivalry is dead!” So everything was nice and charming with Gabriel but something was missing. It was 3 weeks of dating, talking, sex texting and good night kisses but no sex. Not even a blow job!

 

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

 

I remembered odd times when there was something on his mind. We would sit in front of each other and I noticed his nervous behaviour. As we walked through Neil Rd, just right before the intersection to Maxwell Hawker Centre, he asked me the question I never wanted to hear, “ What if a guy you like is HIV positive?”. There was just an empty stare from me like a deer that was caught in a head light. I had no idea what to reply at that moment and so I  laughed awkwardly and replied, “Doesn’t matter if he has a big cock”. As I was growing up, I could never filter my thoughts and hence my responses caused me to have verbal diarrhea and it caused him to stare blankly at me like I had shitted in my pants. I wanted to assure him that I understood what he was getting at but I couldn’t communicate my thoughts or words, so I ignored the question and asked him if he wanted Ice Kacang dessert instead.

I want to think that I am a liberal person but I wasn’t quite sure after that night. I asked him to give me some time to process what he had told me. I should really be thankful and privileged that someone had come forth with their most vulnerable secret and shared it with me. Instead I turned the conversation on Ice Kacang. I can’t imagine telling someone that I am HIV positive knowing that the person either can reject me or accept me and from what I see in the community, it will probably be a rejection. I had to seek advice from my best friend who has been my light at every dark tunnel. He asked me “How many guys did I sleep with and don’t know their HIV status, and why this one matters so much?” He is right.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

I do sleep with guys where I don’t bother to ask for their status, which I assume is negative. Why do I need to care so much about Gabriel’s status? I need to see beyond his status and focus on him being a person. But in order for me to do that is to better understand myself and how comfortable I am. There isn’t a quick answer to all these questions because I was raised to not get infected with HIV, and safer sex prevention to stay negative. Now being faced with this tough situation I have to relearn my safer sex practice and how to practice safer sex with someone whom I will share my life with and who happens to be HIV positive.

If you want to know what happened to Gabriel, he broke up with me for someone else. That is another issue I have to work on. Men! They are all the same regardless of their status.

To be continue……

 

 

If you are starting a Serodiscordant relationship (also known as magnetic or mixed-status couples), where one partner is HIV-positive and the other partner is HIV-negative you might want to discuss further with one of our experienced HIV counsellor. Please call our Coordinated Care Support Programme 6256-5903 and ask to speak to Avin Tan our Norani Othman.

If you have had a condom failure or may have recently been exposed to HIV through unprotected sex, you need to see a doctor as soon as possible. CLICK HERE 

pep-main-banner