Relationship Series #1 (Updated)

He loves me, he loves me not – The dos and don’ts of dating

serie-1

 

Showered check, new tighty whitie check, spray on new cologne check, wallet, phone, mints, condom and lube check, check, and check. Dating can be less scary and nerve wrecking if you are the experienced kind, but for the newbies, we tend to ask ourselves too many questions, “what happened, will he call, he is not texting me back, why why why?” The worst is “Oh shoot I didn’t use the condom” and lucky enough most of us don’t have to worry about this part of dating or do we? This is a good time to learn and explore from each other about the dos and don’ts of dating and also how to give and handle rejection in a classy way. After all, we are classy!


When: Saturday Aug. 23 (Completed)

Where: AFA office 9 Kelantan Lane #05-01 S208628

Time: 6pm-9pm

Light refreshment will be provided

Please register as soon as you can due to limited space. Thanks. 


Here are the photos during our Relationship Series #1 ( Do’s and Don’ts)


What is your single song?

Registration for Relationship Workshop 1

6 + 0 = ?

Relationship Series #2 ( Completed)

1 Ship, 2 ships, 3relationship – Open relationship

Open-relationship

 

 

My 3some confession:

 

In my early 20 something I thought life was going well for me, my body was taking form, my college year was almost done and as an openly gay man, I thought I had it all. I would frequent the bars and clubs on a weekly basis looking for relationship where it would often end up with just random hook ups.

I would regularly have one night stands without any commitments for a relationship, until one day they came along. This couple in their early 30’s spoke to me in a club and later brought me back to their place for drinks and of course sex. I stayed till the next day and realized that I was sleeping in between them with their arms wrapped mine. When I woke up one of the guy rolled over to hug me and gently kissed me on my cheek which we end up having sex again.

We got up to shower together, ate breakfast together and went for coffee together. I ended up hanging out with them the whole Sunday and stayed over for dinner. As I left the house, I felt warm, “love” and excitement filled with anticipation of meeting them again.  For five months I was with them every weekend as if they were my part time boyfriends and then something happened.  I wasn’t being included anymore with their plans or being asked to visit them at their place.

The communication went quiet and I felt as the world had stopped. I wanted answers but being young then I blamed myself for not being good enough. It took me a long time to understand the complexity of an open relationship. What two people in the relationship discussed about and what was negotiated and sometime it doesn’t include you in the conversation can be frustrating and upsetting.

I have learnt now that it is much more complicated for any couple who are in a long term relationship where sex seems to slowly diminish. I too understand the situation of that couple I met in the earlier part of my life because I am also in that situation now.

In my long term relationship, I’ve been wondering what makes my relationship last this long and what makes me want to go further?  There are many things to learn on how to maintain or keep a long term relationship but it was not taught to me so I would have to learn it as it happened.  I can tell you now that  7 years there are questions that was easily can be answered alone and some still need both of us to answers together.

There are so many questions that a couple or individuals would ask when they’re in a long term relationship. Relationship is not always about sex, but the journey both take together and that could include sex. We will constantly challenge each other but if your relationship is worth keeping then the journey will be fun and fulfilling.


We often see many couples who are happy with their relationships and lasting for a very long time. How do they maintain this type of relationship especially when most of the guys you know can’t even hold down a relationship? What is the secret if there is any for us to learn and explore. Relationship is one of the hardest things in life because you are sharing your life with by compromising your freedom to be with that person. How communication plays out between the two people to navigate around HIV/STIs is also a very important matter.

This workshop is for people who are interested in discussing and exploring what a healthy relationship looks like through different exercises by practicing communication skills whether it is a monogamous or polygamous relationship.

 

When: Saturday Sept 20
Where: AFA office 9 Kelantan Lane #05-01 S208628

Time: 6pm-9pm Light refreshment will be provided

Please register as soon as you can due to limited space. Thanks. 

 

 

Registration for Relationship Workshop 2

1 + 6 = ?

Relationship Series #3

He’s not my daddy, He’s not son – Intergenerational Relationship

Intergenerational

 

When we see a couple who doesn’t fit into our “normal” standard of a couple, we seem to questions about their power dynamic and how often the younger men are being taking advantage of by the more matured men.  Some men do seek out other that are not the same age as them for many reasons i.e. financial assistance, companionship, knowledge and advice on life/career, etc.  Whatever the age gap, there needs to be a discussion about age of consent, sexual dynamic when negotiating safer sex for both men and proving the validity of the relationship itself.

 

When: Saturday Oct.11

Where: AFA office 9 Kelantan Lane #05-01 S208628

Time: 6pm-9pm

Light refreshment will be provided

Please register as soon as you can due to limited space. Thanks. 

 

 

Registration for Relationship Workshop 3

4 + 3 = ?

Relationship Series #4

“My Heart Will Go On” – Coping with breakups and separation

 

It is never easy for anyone who is going through a breakup when the separating decision was not theirs to make. No one said that breaking up is easy especially when you are on the receiving end. How do we tell ourselves that life will go on when we are lost and alone? This workshop will help us understand the coping mechanisms that we all have deep down inside. How can we train ourselves to understand the signs so that we can be more aware of our peers when they are facing similar situations? All new beginning will start somewhere, but we all must find our paths to recovery and carry on. [/av_one_half]


When: Saturday Oct. 25

Where: AFA office 9 Kelantan Lane #05-01 S208628

Time: 6pm-9pm

Light refreshment will be provided

Please register as soon as you can due to limited space. Thanks. 

Your all time break up songs.

 

Registration for Relationship Workshop 4

0 + 2 = ?

Dining in the Dark

By : Yee Jun Ming

Last evening’s ‘Dining In The Dark’ conducted by SAVH was a most interesting and fun experience.  

We were introduced about the association and then briefed about the dinner event. Then we were slowly led into a dark room and to our seat at the table where it was completely pitch black, total darkness. 

 

I was beginning to feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable from the lack of vision but told myself to calm down and relax. We realised that without sight, we were somehow talking louder. Strange. Haha.

Then I orientated myself, finding out who was seated beside me “Stop touching me, Daniel! I already told you Gabriel!”, I said giggling; and I felt around the table setting in front of me; mentally taking note about the placements of things.

We were then served a bowl of delicious mushroom soup. How did I know it was mushroom? It was luringly aromatic. Haha. I held the bowl in my hand and thought to myself ‘Ok, how are you going to do this, Gabriel? Spoon it or sip it from the bowl? Well no one would know what you do.’ Haha! So I placed the bowl down on the table and felt for my soup spoon; and I carefully spooned the soup and successfully placed it straight in my mouth. ‘Yes! I did it!’, I thought to myself. Haha. But then hearing that others are sipping their soup from the bowl, I decided to follow suit. Haha! Strange experience, without sight, I was actually able to fully enjoy the soup and taste every delicious bit of it. I finished it with much appreciation. Just as I and a few others were done with our soup, we were told that they’re going to serve bread which would go very well with the soup, ‘Damn, I just finished my soup. Guess I have to eat the bread on it’s own’, I groaned. It’s okie. Haha. 

The server cleared our empty bowls and then served our main course. I chose a tomato-based vegetarian spaghetti. Again, I felt around my plate to orientate myself and then thought to myself ‘Hmm… How do I eat this without creating a mess? I wish I chose chicken chop instead, just poke with a fork and eat it straight.’. Haha. But being vegetarian, there was no other option. However, after hearing how difficult it was for some to eat their chicken chop ( which came with coleslaw and mash), I was glad I had a simple spaghetti. Hahaha. Carefully twirling the noodles with my fork and the aid of a spoon, I ate slowly and carefully, keeping in mind not to make a mess; and constantly wiping my mouth with the napkin. ‘Glad I’m wearing black’, I thought to myself. Haha. When I thought I was done with the noodles, I used the spoon to scoop around the plate to make sure I finish the sauce too. I really wanted to show my appreciation by making an effort not to waste any food. And the funny thing was, without sight, it didn’t bother me at all if the food looked appetising or not. I just happily ate what I was given. Haha. There’s a lesson to be learned. Haven’t quite put it to words yet. Haha. 

We were told that our plates would be left at the table so we can later see how we faired. Fun. Haha. Eating in the dark felt alright by now. I placed the fork and spoon nicely on the plate and waited for dessert to be served. 

Ice-cream! We could smell strawberry-flavoured ice-cream, then some tasted chocolate. It was kinda exciting. Haha. “Mine is strawberry!”, I exclaimed gleefully. But half way through, I tasted chocolate. Haha. Then a friend said “Must be Neapolitan!”. Hahaha. And some of us decided to lick our ice-cream goblet coz no one could see us anyways. lol 

Then coffee/tea was served. Again, I carefully held the tea cup and saucer from the server and placed it next to my empty dinner plate. We were then told that sugar and creamer would be passed around and I thought to myself ‘Oh dear. How am I going to do that? Maybe I should just have my tea without sugar or creamer’. Haha. But then I thought I should challenge myself and see if I can do it with ease. So I took a sachet of creamer (no sugar for me, that’s how I like my tea. Really. Haha.), tore it open carefully and poured it in my tea. Gave it a few stirs with the teaspoon and then showly sipped and enjoyed my tea. Everything was done with extra caution and calculation. Haha. 

Oh there was water and juice which we had to pour ourselves if we wanted. We had to pass the jug around and when pouring into our glass, we were told to stick a finger in the glass to gauge how much we poured. I did it without spilling. Yaay! Haha.
When the whole dinner was done, they turned on the lights and we could all see how neat or messy everyone was. It was hilarious. Some had food and spills all over the place. Haha. But I was proud that I did well. See attached photo, not bad eh? Kekeke. 
By the way, the servers were visually impaired. Big kudos to them for being able to serve all of us without hiccups. They’re awesome! 

The whole unique experience was a very fruitful one for me. I had a great time with old and new friends. I was reminded not to take things for granted and to be more appreciative. An evening of blindness was really interesting and fun, but a lifetime of blindness is a different thing altogether. Living in a world of darkness can be rather scary and dangerous. It takes great courage and a strong and positive attitude for a blind person to live through daily. I have much admiration for them. And I feel very blessed to have all my senses working. Very grateful for the experience. 
You should all go experience it too. Do your bid for charity, for them, for yourself.

 


 

First published on The Bear Project Facebook page on July 26,2014

 


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Salvation : Featuring DJ George Leong

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Consolidated guidelines (UNAIDS 2014)

People at higher risk of HIV infection are not getting the health services they need, according to a new report by the World Health Organization entitled Consolidated guidelines on HIV prevention, diagnosis, treatment and care for key populations.

Released on 11 July, the publication warns that failure to provide adequate

 

HIV services for key groups, such as men who have sex with men, people in prison, people who inject drugs, sex workers and transgender people, threatens the global progress of the HIV response.

The consolidated guidelines outline the steps for countries to take to reduce new HIV infections and increase access to HIV testing, treatment and care services by populations at higher risk. The report aims to provide a comprehensive package of evidence-informed HIV-related recommendations for all populations, increase awareness of the needs of and issues important to key populations, improve access, coverage and uptake of effective and acceptable services, and catalyse greater national and global commitment to adequate funding and services.

“Failure to provide services to the people who are at greatest risk of HIV jeopardizes further progress against the global epidemic and threatens the health and well-being of individuals, their families and the broader community.”

Gottfried Hirnschall, Director of the HIV Department at the World Health Organization


 

First published – July 11 2014

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[CRUISE RECOMMENDS]
HYPERTAINMENT’S CNY DOUBLE HAPPINESS DANCE PARTY LINEUP

19 Feb, Thu . CNY Day 1 . 10pm till late
Hyperise Red at 1-Altitude feat. Guest DJ Brian Cua (PH)

21 Feb, Sat . CNY Day 3 . 10pm till late
HyperSpace Gold at Canvas

Cruise Member Privilege – Simply flash your Membership Card!
First 100 Cruise members get Express Free Entry +
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AIDS 2014 Melbourne Declaration

This declaration affirms that non-discrimination is fundamental to an evidence-based response to HIV and effective public health programmes.

aids-2014-declaration

“The enforcement of discriminatory and criminalising laws and policies against Key Affected Populations is deeply alarming.” said Professor Françoise Barré-Sinoussi, AIDS 2014 International Chair, President of the International AIDS Society (IAS) and Director of the Regulation of Retroviral Infections Unit at the Institut Pasteur in Paris. “Such practices clearly violate basic human rights and heavily undermine HIV programmes by posing barriers to access to HIV prevention, treatment, and care. With the declaration we want to reiterate that every individual has the same rights and dignity as everyone else as we are born equal and part of the human family. ”

 

 

All individuals and organizations involved in the global response to HIV and AIDS are encouraged to visit and sign the declaration at www.aids2014.org/declaration.aspx and to share it with their networks.

 

“If we really want to change the course of HIV we must make sure that nobody is left behind. AIDS 2014 will be a truly global, inclusive conference and will reflect the principles of the declaration” commented Professor Sharon Lewin, Local Co-Chair of AIDS 2014, Head of the Department of Infectious Diseases, Alfred Hospital and Monash University and Co-Head of the Centre for Biomedical Research at the Burnet Institute in Melbourne.